UConn back in the top 25 and Mick Cronin would kick my ass.

UConn getting a huge win over #11 Cincinnati is the bees knees. This game kinda sucked though and was not exactly a Saturday afternoon thriller but fuck  it were definitely taking this win. This was the final win that the Huskies needed before the last 2 games of the season. Have to beat Rutgers next and then a win over Louisville would bump us up another seed come selection Sunday. So  were ranked #19 this week.

Turns out Mick Cronin is equally as scary as his team. One of  those little guys that would beat the shit out of me to the tune of Mr. Steal Yo Girl. I am genuinely afraid of him.

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Scariest Teams

1.) Cincinnati

2.) Sneaky USF because of Jordan Omogbehin

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3.) Detroit…right?

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I Hate This Wine Specialist Grading Shitty Beer So Much

Hate her. Cant stand her. Don`t you dare get all uppity on me just because your educated on wine. For the most part I didn’t recognize half the beers. But Natty Light was in there and got the most unjust rating of all time. Fuck you telling me Natty Light is funky, yeasty, wine-esque,and tastes like purple swee ttarts. Sweet tarts are the shit so that last thing was actually positive. Obviously this bitch didn’t go to college. I know this because 1.) shes a wine expert and 2.) she dosn’t like shitty beer. Like I could be a wine expert too. The only credential needed is your sense of taste. Giving Natural Light a 1.5 is totally fucked up because it is hands down the best of the worst beers. I literally buy two 30`s of it every weekend and I will until I make enough money to afford the good shit like Bud Light. What a day that will be.

1.) Natty Light

2.) Busch Light

3.) PBR

4.) Busch Heavy

10,000,000,000.) Keystone

How about this chick who turned 21 and flipped her car 4 hours later

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WEST HARTFORD — Hours after she turned 21, a local woman flipped her car Friday morning and was charged with drunken driving, police said.

Haleigh MacCloy, who turned 21 Thursday, was charged with driving while under the influence of alcohol, traveling too fast and failure to drive right, police said.

MacCloy was released on a promise to appear in court March 13. She was not injured.

The crash happened on Flagg Road, near Albany Avenue, about 4:20 a.m., police said. MacCloy was driving a 2000 Volkswagen Beetle east on Flagg Rd when she lost control of her car, they said.

She struck a snow bank on the right side of the road, then veered to the left side and struck another snow bank, police said. The car rolled onto its passenger side.

MacCloy was able to get out of the car with help from another motorist.

Fucking chicks man, they never seem to get it. A girls 21st birthday is one of the sloppiest, dirtiest, tear filled nights ever. Not to mention they are just loud and never shut the fuck up. Every girl 21st birthday I have been too is literally exactly like the Woo girls episode from How I  Met Your Mother. Just guzzling tequila shots and blaming life on their ex-boyfriends. When I eventually have a good looking daughter (I know its going to happen, been such a dick to girls all my life that God is going to ruin my life) there is no way in hell I am letting her near a car on her 21st. And what kind of asshole friends does this girl have that let her drive on the day that allows her to get as fucked up as she wants. This outcome was to be expected.

When you combine a girl, endless booze, a birthday, and did I already say girl? it will 100 percent end in a rolled car.

I laugh out loud at this scene from How I Met Your Mother. this is exactly what girls do when they get together for birthdays. “No your the slut you dirty skank!” flawless line

Does This Look Like The Face Of A Dude Who Drove The Wrong Way on A Highway Because His GPS Said So?

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WEST HARTFORD — A man who told police he drove the wrong way on a highway ramp because he was relying too heavily on his GPS is due in court next week.

Robert Howe, 43, of Springfield, Mass. was charged with driving while under the influence and driving the wrong way, police said Friday. He was released on a promise to appear in court Thursday.

According to Capt. Jeff Rose, about 2 a.m. Feb. 22, Officer Peter Senick spotted a man, later identified as Howe, driving toward him. Senick, who was assigned to watch for drunken drivers that night, was stopped at a red light on Park Road, facing east, between the on and off ramps for I-84, Rose said.

The GPS fucked this dude over so bad. Guy was probably crushing his drunk driving and thinking to himself how easy it is to drink and drive. Next thing you know your trusty GPS tells you to take a left and guess what? you fucking take the left. I listen to the directions that the magic mechanical box tells me 100 out of 100 times. You know when people ask if you would jump off of a cliff if your buddy told you to? Well in the case of a GPS the answer is yes. If it told me to kill myself, go gay, or anything I am doing it. The police should have understood what was going on here and let him go. Cant arrest a guy who is doing what he is told. After all, guys are programmed to do what girls tells us.

P.S. I do boners for the GPS girls voice. In 200 feet…fuck me

Diaper Truck Rollover Causes Mess on I-84

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NBC Connecticut: Traffic is slowly getting by on Interstate 84 east in Southington after a truck carrying diapers rolled onto its side this morning.

The crash happened between exits 31 and 32. The highway was closed. Then, police were letting the cars that have been stuck on the highway off.

The right shoulder and right lane are open, but police warn that crews will be in the areas for hours because they need to move the diapers off the truck and remove the truck.

Absolutely loved this today. This morning a massive truck rolled over and spewed diapers all over one of the main commuter highways to Hartford. Caused a massive backup and ruined every commute to work for people headed to Hartford. The crash happened at 6 A.M and police are still dealing with the pick up now. I can just imagine a Dad headed to work pissed off at life because you know…hes a dad, and he gets a face full of diapers to his windshield and is stuck in traffic for a fucking eternity. Just the ultimate punch in the balls by the man upstairs reminding you that your headed to your shitty job and have to go home to even more diapers. The life of a middle aged man is going to suck. The title of  this blog came directly from the NBC site. Laugh out loudable.

A look into the future for all men…Fuck

http://www.nbcconnecticut.com/news/local/I-84-East-Closed-in-Southington-247491131.html

Diabolical Question of the day: What is the correct way to take a piss? through the zipper vs. over the belt

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pee through the zipper vs. over the belt

This question was posted on Barstool earlier today. Its a question that I too have argued with my buddies. It turns out I am in the extreme minority here at UConn. When I told my friends that I pee over the belt they looked at me like I dropped a hard N bomb in the room with a black kid. Seriously thought they were going to disown me. But here is why peeing over the belt is the only option and my why friends are fucking idiots.

1. Every time I pee through the zipper the tip of my dick always rubs on the zipper on the way out and its worse than thinking about a tube going up your pee hole. I always get one of those full body shivers that shuts down the mind and causes cringing pain. If the zipper was meant for peeing than it wouldn’t have razor sharp metal edges surrounding the hole. Would you stick your dick in between an open mouth of Piranha? Basically the same.

2. Don’t act like you have a massive package that cant fit over the belt. Every man except for professional fuckers has a reasonably sized dick that can definitely get the job done. Don’t big league me bro your shit is small.

I am right by taking the safe way out. I guess I just don’t like to play with danger.

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The Travelers Championship will be sponsored by Travelers for 10 more years. I vote No

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HARTFORD – Travelers has reached an agreement with the PGA Tour to extend its title sponsorship of the Travelers Championship through 2024, it was announced on Thursday morning.

The announcement of the 10-year contract was made by PGA Tour Commisioner Tim Finchem Thursday at a press conference at The Connecticut Convention Center.

The previous contract was through the tournament June 19-22 at TPC River Highlands in Cromwell. The tournament purse is $6.2 million, a $1.8 million increase since TravelersCompanies, Inc.  took over as title sponsor for the 2007 tournament.

Travelers took over the biggest sports event Connecticut has seen since having the Whalers in Hartford and have done a pretty good job with it.  The purse is one of the largest for a non-major which brings in the best golfers. Minus Tiger Woods because he needs a weekend of rest after a prior weekend of rest at the U.S Open. Its a total bummer this tourney always falls the weekend after a major. But all in all this is a good thing for the next 10 years. After all, Hartford is the glamorous insurance capitol of the world so it makes sense that Travelers dumps money into it. The only reason I vote no is because  in my heart  it will always be the GHO.

P.S- Everyone from CT knows that this tournament is really called the Greater Hartford Open. If you think otherwise you are probably mentally insane or under the age of 18. And oh yeah, fuck you Tiger.

And here is Bubba ripping his caddy a new one in Cromwell.

Read more: http://foxct.com/2014/02/27/travelers-will-be-sponsor-states-pga-event-for-another-10-years/#ixzz2uXf8VSWR